4.22.2012

Infertility Awareness Week

Today is the first day of Infertility Awareness Week. Last year, when this week rolled around, we had just passed month 6 of TTC using NFP - it was the first milestone to cross that would label us infertile. I remember seeing the posts of friends and family members on Facebook, friends and family members who had crossed over (most of them years ago) and thinking to myself, if we do not have a baby this time next year, I will post for all of us who are still suffering.

Oh, how a year changes things.

There will be no post on my FB page. There will be no Tweeting about IF. There will only be this, in this space.

Much like I chose not to share our story at work, I also chose not to share our story on FB - for lots of reasons. Many are the same as the work reasons, but there are a few others too.

But here's what I would say, what a piece of me is dying to say, if I were to post:

It would start with this picture:
And then I would say:
In honor of Infertility Awareness Week: "This is for all of us who long to see two lines on a stick; who wish for labor pains; who look forward to being woken up every few hours of each night; who imagine first steps and first words; who dream of first birthdays; who hide tears, minimize pain, and straddle the fence of the life we have and the life we want; who suffer in silence; who bite our tongues at bad advice; and who just want to hear "I love you Mom". Those of you with children: Hug them tightly, tell them how blessed you are to have them in your life, say "I love you" just because you do, and praise the Author of Life for the opportunity to do so."

I wish I had the courage to not care about the reactions; to stand up and educate others about infertility; to explain our reasons for our treatment plan; to let everyone see the truth.

I don't. I couldn't even advocate for myself with a local doctor - let alone 300 some FB "friends".

But there is something I want to say to my IRL friends (and MIL - hi Mom!) who read here:
Thank-you. Thank-you for reading these words and hearing the truth - the good and the bad - and still loving me. Thank-you for not pushing me to share when I don't want to and for listening when I do. Thank-you for not ever making me feel embarrassed for tears or for making jokes to hide them. Please know that every. single. time. I thank those in the bloggy world for their support I am including you because you are part of this place as well.

So, while I won't be saying anything on Facebook - to everyone who is reading this thank-you for helping me to carry this cross. Thank-you for loving me, praying for me, and sticking with me. I don't know or how when this road will end, but I do know that you've made it easier and less scary.

15 comments:

  1. Rebecca,

    What you feel in your gut is the truth. They are everything and I pray you will one day be blessed with many noisy, whiney, screechy, tantrum turning little angels. I'd never heard of Infertility Awareness Week but it must bring as much pain to some as it does hope to others.

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  2. You inspire me. I may have to come out of the IF closet this week, in honor of this post... hmmm....

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  3. Your Facebook friends would support and love you too! However, I of all people completely understand about not wanting to put private stuff out there for everyone!
    I wish there was something I could say or do to help you or encourage you more. I will keep praying and if you need anything call.

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  4. I don't think I have ever commented on your blog, but I read often. I too keep my IF fairly hidden and understand what you are saying completely. I will pray for you (and all IFers :) this Infertility Awareness Week!

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  5. This brings me to tears...I felt those same things so many times. I, too, was fairly silent on FB about our struggles. Since conceiving though, I've felt like I needed to talk about it more--to let people know that hey, not everybody has an easy road!! It bothers me when people just assume that I must've just gone off of birth control after DH graduated and conceived a few months later. I guess I've been more vocal now because I want people to be more aware and hopefully more sensitive.

    You are an inspiration to me! And, you are always in my prayers.

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  6. Beautifully said, friend. I didn't realize it was IF Awareness Week, but I'm glad to know so that I can pray even more for you all this week!

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  7. I often wish that I was brave enough to share my IF struggles, but I have gotten so used to silence that it just becomes easier than explaining. I am hoping that once we finally do conceive that I will be a much better advocate for IF.

    One day...

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  8. Praying for you and 'The Man' this week and always ~ and giving my kids an extra hug from you!

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  9. i had a plan to post on facebook (as well as an announcement going in at least a FEW church bulletins next week...)...thank you for giving me the right words to do so. you said it better than any i've heard and i wish i could give you a hug right now. so, my post is for you and all of us unable to speak.

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  10. I can't imagine the hurt and frustrations you are feeling. You are a stronger woman than I am. Praying for you this week.

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  11. Rebecca, added prayers for you this week.

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  12. 1 year ago,this week, I found the IF blogger world, I have finally found the place that people understand & get it. I too would never share any of this on FB.

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  13. I love you and I'm glad you're here. You are beautiful!

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  14. Such a beautiful quote in the picture you shared!
    Its hard to share with friends and family IRL ... I totally get that. I pray your road short and have included you in my St. Gianna novena.

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I know some of you comment anonymously, and I'm sorry that I turned off anonymous comments, but the spam has been crazy lately, so I'm trying to curb it.

I hate to discourage comments, but understand wanting to stay anonymous, so please consider even an OpenID account or a separate blog-commenting google account!

And you can always email me RebeccaWVU02@gmail.com.